Hey everyone!

Hey everyone!! Hope everyone had blessed holiday season! I went down to MultiJudy's place for Christmas! I had a blessed time!! It was totally a God thing!! Of His arranging!! In fact, Abba used our visit to bring healing to both of us!! I'll let Judy share her side of the story but for me...see I had spent 10 years away from Believers...other christians...I had left that abusive fellowship down in Florida messed up, and expecting to be treated the same way by others. Actually, I knew that I had to be careful not to get involved in a manipulative controlling religious environment again, so these past 10 years I've been 'recovering' from that...and learning more about the reality of satan's cronies in the church. Just read Judy's blog and you're realize what I mean...about a certain minister in Tulsa, etc.

See, there was a time in my life...early 90's, when i was soooo hungry for more of God. I started exploring certain charismatic churches...I knew that Oral Roberts and the prosperity wealth message was not kosher, so I avoided those like hte plague, but I had assumed that those who spoke out against certain other movements...Vineyard in Kansas City, for example...were just not wanting all of God..were holding back, etc, just wanting to be churchy traditional, etc. I realize now, when I had gone to certain conferences, etc, that I felt there was something wrong but couldn't put my finger on it. I thought it was because something was wrong with me, not them. For example..one year I went to the Morning Star Rick Joyner conference in Jacksonville FL. Something about the worship didn't set well with me...I don't know how to explain it. And the guy (I can't remember his name), the musican who did the worship...had a hard creepy edge to him. Paul Cain was there. Later, Paul Cain would fall, and his sin of alcolholsim and homosexuality would come out a few years later.
Part of the conference package for attendees was a private time of prophecy by MorningStar ministers. When I went in for my time...it just seemed totally cold and off. Maybe they were picking up on my not yet healed anger from the spiritual abuse I went thru in the abusive fellowship...it was 2 men and a woman who were 'ministering' over me. The woman seemed really ill at ease in my presence. I'm thankful that before I went in for their 'ministry', that God had just had me run into a christian hippie group on the beach that afternoon and they ministered to me and discerning that I had gone thru spiritual abuse, cried as they ministered to me and the ones being ministers apologized for the abuse I went thru. That time wiht the christian hippies on the Beach was really ministring to me, instead of the meeting with the Rick Joyner's ministers.
I was attracted to MorningStar ministries because they were more 'contemporary' and not as churchy. I thought they were ok at the time. However, I would later study about Rick Joyner's connections to the Knights of Malta organization, etc.

Several years ago, when I was living in Tucson Arizona, there was a woman I had met who had spokened out against Paul Cain, the Kansas City Vineyard (Mike Bickle's church), etc. I blew her off because she was a fundamentalist Baptist...the kind who always wore dresses, staunch traditional, old hymns, etc. Her church even one day went and stood in the parking lot of Calvary Chapel(the church I went to in Tucson) and handed out pamphlets to us as we left after service.
Calvary Chapel was okay. Calvary Chapel is very Word oriented and balanced on the gifts, but they had their issues, too. I won't go into that...I had some friends at Calvary chapel, but I just felt dry and 'wanting more' at Calvary Chapel.
I realize now that I don't have to run here or to for more of God, but I can just seek Him at home where I am!! Just cry out for more of HIM!! I can't look to others for more of Him!

When I was at Judy's, I found I was free to be me! I don't know how to explain it...but we were on the same wavelength about things, especially when it comes to the fact that it's a relationship with the LORD...it's not about how many hours one spend in 'bible reading', prayer, etc, mechanical, etc.. I learned that a long time ago! I remember one time I was talking to Abba and was saying "Abba, forgive me for not spending much 'quiet time' with you!(that is, in the area of prayer, talking, etc" He responded by saying that He was with me all the time...as I eat, get on the internet, work on my baskets...just like with a person in the flesh, you may spend time doing things in the room, not speaking much, but just being with them, so it is with Him...If I couldn't think of anything to say, just relax and enjoy His Presence. A lot of times, I hear HIm tell me that He loves me.